Psychology/sexology

What is your relationship with your emotions?

As children, we learn to distinguish emotions from our parents or caregivers. This happens in different ways in different families, depending on family traditions, some emotions are treated differently than others.

If emotions have been rejected , ignored, or misinterpreted in your family, then it may be difficult for you to understand your feelings.

For example:


"When I was sad, my mother was worried about me. Now when I'm sad I feel anxious"

"When I was angry, my parents shamed me for being angry. Now I'm ashamed to be angry”

“Every time I got upset, they gave me something delicious to calm me down. Now, I realize that I'm eating up my emotions. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between I feel hungry or angry”

“Every time I got an unpredictable reaction. Now I carefully monitor what other people feel”

“When I was angry, my mother was also angry. Now I feel bad in anger”

In order to restore a healthy relationship with your feelings, you need to reflect, notice inaccurate messages about your emotions and, therefore, learn to distinguish your emotions.


To help you understand, I decided to describe some body signals and positive messages that you can implement in your life. You can use them to better understand yourself:


Joy

Energy, cheerfulness in the body, a smile. To cope with this emotion, try to say to yourself “ I have the right to be joyful and happy. I don't need to suppress my joy.”


Sadness

A feeling of heaviness in the chest or a lump in the throat.

What does sadness tell me? This means that " I need care and empathy”"


Fear

Shortness of breath, a feeling of cold, trembling in the hands.

“Now that I understand that I am afraid, I can look around and assess the situation - am I really in danger?”


Shame

A feeling of emptiness, a desire to hide, fading, sometimes reddening of the skin.

What does anger tell me?

This is the rest of my unfounded low self-esteem.

“I have nothing to be ashamed of. Only I choose what is good and what is bad for me”


Anger

Clenched teeth, fists.

What does anger tell me? Anger is often a sign that someone treats you badly or violates your boundaries.

"Anger shows me that I have the right to be treated well. I can defend my borders”


Disgust

The corners of your lips droop, your nose wrinkles.

“This tells me that what is happening now is not safe for me. I have the right to say no if I don't like something.”



Take a few minutes to think about how emotions were treated in your family, what messages you received about them. Have you ever had difficulty understanding how you feel?

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